Tuesday, October 14, 2014
I am a full time carer for my 7 year old autistic son. That is my second job though; my first job is that I am a parent to a wonderful 7 year old boy. Yes, he's the same person. As his parent, I do everything I can to ensure his well being. He has some challenges relating to the world around him and I try my best to interpret the world in a way that he can understand. I imagine that involves being a different type of parent than parents of children who have not been diagnosed with autism, but I can't say for certain because he is my only child and this is the only form of parenting I know.Now, onto the issue of a parent attempting to murder their child. I won't use her name, because, firstly, she's not the only one, and, secondly, I don't believe she deserves any more attention. It's not my place to judge her as a person; I don't know her. But, I do believe that I can judge her actions: as a parent and a carer, I could never comprehend reaching a stage where I think that the best solution is to kill my child. Taking a life, or attempting to take the life, of another person, regardless of their neurology, is wrong. There is no excuse for that. She may use the defense that her child was singling her out for attack. The question I have to ask is why? The times that my son has hit/kicked me have been infrequent, but, in every instance, they were an expression of frustration. By helping him to find more appropriate ways of expressing frustration, by validating his emotions and letting him know that is is completely acceptable to become frustrated, he no longer lashes out like that. I didn't need to train him like a puppy to achieve that either, and, honestly, I cannot understand how walking around with a timer and tokens can sound like a good idea to anyone. Children, autistic or not, respond best to love and acceptance. Killing them for not meeting your expectations is not a solution. That woman had all the help in the world, but I don't believe that she ever took the time to understand her daughter. What help did her daughter have?
So, I am not her. I will never be her.