Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Don't you dare tell me that I could have been Kelli Stapleton

Don't you dare tell me that I could have been Kelli Stapleton.

Don't you dare tell me that she deserves my "sympathy", my "understanding" based on the coincidence that I too have an autistic child, because right there is where the similarities end.

Don't you dare tell me to Walk in Kelli's shoes.
Screw her shoes.
 I care not about the shoes of anyone who is capable of trying to murder their child. That's what makes me a decent human being.

The only shoes ANYONE should be focused on are Issy's.
Issy is the victim.
Kelli is a would-be child murderer.
The fact that people even need to be reminded of that is a gigantic indicator that society's perception of Autistic and otherwise disabled people is severely twisted and needs to change immediately.

Don't you dare tell me that my son is "not like your child" followed by a stream of ableist garbage like functioning labels and things of that nature in a way that seeks to lend justification to, or gives ANYONE - past, present, or future - an excuse to harm other Autistic/disabled human beings.

Don't you dare tell me that the value of my son's life, which to our family is immeasurable, hinges on whether or not I receive whatever I deem as the proper "services".

Don't you dare tell me that any personal mental/ emotional issues I may or may not have serve as a scapegoat for hurting my child.  I know there are many parents out there with the same - even worse issues-  who manage to not hurt, kill, abuse or blame their children for their problems. YOU are the parent. YOU are the one responsible for your mental/emotional/physical health, not your child.
Handle it, or get the heck away from your kid before you hurt them. Period. No excuses.

Don't you dare tell me that it's acceptable for me to hurt, abuse, dehumanize, publicly humiliate, vilify, or otherwise exploit my child in order to obtain services, attention, sympathy, recognition or anything else.

Don't you dare tell me that because I am the NT parent of an autistic child that my voice, opinion, needs, desires, experiences and right to be heard outweighs those of the Autistic /disabled community. I know that in order to do right by them we MUST listen to them. Listening to them helps me to be the mother my son needs, and that is my purpose. My son is my purpose.

I adore my child. I accept and CELEBRATE his Autism. I love him just the way he is, for everything that he is, and for everything that he's not. So does anyone who has had the blessed privilege of knowing him, or else I will keep them the hell away from him. If you can't accept my son, you can get out of our lives, and don't let the door hit you on your way out...cos that's what a parent should do.

I will listen to the words he doesn't speak as well as the ones he does speak. I will always be mindful that behavior is communication. I will LOVE him with every fiber of my being and all the strength I possess and when I run out of strength I will keep going. For him. Because he's worth it. I will PROTECT him with my life as long as I have breath in my lungs, because he is my child. He is my joy. He is my reason.

I am NOTHING like Kelli Stapleton. I could never be Kelli Stapleton.

That's not me being sanctimonious. That's me being a mother.
The mother of a beautiful human being who makes me so very proud. A human being whose unique and beautiful way lights up my life like nothing else ever could. A human being who makes me feel like I won the kid lottery every single day since the day I met him- even when it's challenging. The son I've always wanted and always loved.


Don't you dare categorize me with that would-be child murderer just because I have an Autistic child.

Don't. You. Dare.

Written by Leonie Davis

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