You are NOT entitled to a "normal" child

I have always felt that if one decides to have or work with children, it is an honor.  You get the PRIVELEGE of having and/or working with that child or group of children.  You don't get to pick and choose, and you are most certainly not ENTITLED to a particular child.

Therefore, I am disturbed by the trend of certain parents who post online about how they want a "normal" child, and then proceed to provide very personal and intimate details of their children's disabilities, all the while complaining about how difficult said children make their lives.

I recently wrote a blog post about an autistic girl named Isabelle "Issy" Stapleton.  Her mother (unsuccessfully, I'm glad to say) attempted to suffocate her to death in the family van.  Before that, the mother wrote a series of hateful tweets about Issy, including that she wanted a normal child and that she wished she could get a "morning after" pill.

Just the other day, I read about a little boy named Dylan Kelly, who was born with multiple health conditions.  The beginning of the article describes how he loves to come home from school and chase his sister around the house.  Sounds like a happy child, right? Yet his parents state they wish they had had an abortion.

That's right.  The parents say they love him, but wish they hadn't had him.  They had another baby, because they wanted a "normal' child.  They have spent several years engaged in legal action against the hospital where he was born.  I get that having a child with medical problems can be incredibly difficult, but perhaps the parents could have spent this time reaching out to the community for financial and moral support.

When I read about cases like this, all I can think about is how horrible it must be to be those children, to have to know that your parents don't want you and wish you had never been born.  I wish I could take these children and find loving families for them.

Then, of course, there are the people who are always ready to jump to the defense of these parents.  "Walk in their shoes before you judge them," cry the apologists.  I say: Walk in Issy's shoes.  Walk in Dylan's shoes.  Walk in the shoes of every child that has been unwanted.  Walk in the shoes of every child that has been abused by their parent.  THEN come back to me and talk about the shoes of the parent.

You are NOT entitled to a normal child.


This post originally published at:  The Cats Are In Charge.